Days fly so fast. It's Wednesday again and time for Couple's Corner meme. I'm not really very busy, I just have these KATAM mode so if you can recognize, my blog consists of only CC and nothing more. =) It's just that I love this meme much and I can't let Wednesday pass without writing about the week's topic.

This topic seems to be the hardest to write for me, so far. It's because we've been through a lot of misunderstandings and I can hardly remember which one was the 1st or the 2nd or the 3rd.  Majority are really very petty though ;) There are actually a lot, but I believe those were brought about by immaturity and lack of trust. I was only 19 when we got married and he was 24. I might have been thinking maturely then, but not really matured enough to handle things right.

My hubbydubs is one quiet man. With my ex, I was like a noisy, uncontrollable, broken megaphone. =) Upon meeting Mark, it seems that I was transformed into someone I was impossible to become. I learned how to shut my mouth out. How can you shout at the person who is so quiet and seems so kind? LOL.. As much as I try to recall, I can't really remember what that first misunderstanding was. All I can remember is that  there was one serious case then and I was really hurt and even talked to my Tita (who's my adviser) and told her that I'll be leaving Mark already and that I'm ready to start a new life only with Alyssa. I even asked if I made the wrong decision of marrying this man. Since he always keeps quiet, the best communication I thought then was text messaging. When he leaves home, that's the time I will send him messages regarding the things that are bothering me. Then, he will try to make things up by saying sorry. And that time, for me, sorry is not enough. I need an explanation and even an assurance. Then I remembered writing him a very long letter (damn! I can't remember where that letter is now..) and that was how we fixed things up.

We've been married for 4 years already and are planning to renew our vows on our 5th year. With all those misunderstandings, world wars, LQs and whatever you call it, there is only one thing I always keep and remember. It is an advice from my Tita who's been married for more than 15 years now and they still  look like newly weds each and everyday. And here it goes, "IN MARRIAGE, PRIDE SHOULD ALWAYS BE SET ASIDE. MAKING THE FIRST MOVE TO PATCH THINGS UP SHOULDN'T ALWAYS COME FROM THE ONE WHO MADE THE MISTAKE, IT CAN COME FROM THE ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS"

 

The Marriage Proposal was done and all we have was 3 months preparation for the Big Day. How it turned out? I'll continue...

The date was set to April 23, 2005 by the oldies. =) They said it was full moon and lucky. We have a couturier friend who's been doing our gowns years back, so gowns are not at all a problem. We've got gay super friends who can do all the decorations and planning. I can't thank them enough for giving so much of their efforts for FREE. My gown was supposed to be 15k, but my dear Kuya Ronald only charged us P5k and the rest were his gifts. The wedding and venue were coordinated by my dear Kuya Lawrence and his pals, Kuya Julius and Kuya Bob. I've got great angels who made the day possible. And of course, about 97% of all the expenses were shouldered by my supah kind In-Laws. My mom (aunt) was really mad and wasn't interested in taking part of the wedding preparation. I also thought she will not be there on my wedding day. She lives in Japan and hasn't talked to me ever since she knew about my pregnancy. My Tita Arlene was the one who took what is supposed to be my mom's part.

My lola said, my gown can be the simplest and rented, but it should be new. =) It should be held in our province (Laguna) and even wanted the reception to be held in our house. That, we already disagree. LOL. All the guests can't fit in our house, so we decided to just rent a place and it was the resort where my debut was held, more than a year ago.. =)

It was a literally a BIG DAY! The entourage was like a Flores de Mayo. It was the first wedding in both our sides, so Mark wanted to include EVERYONE!!! if only possible. I can't remember how many bride's maids, secondary sponsors, junior bridesmaids and flower girls I had. What I am sure is they are more that 20! ;)

I was happy that despite my mom's anger, she still chose to attend and even brought her kids along.  My lola walked down the isle despite her difficulty to walk. Everything was going according to plan... until just before the reception ends. Everybody are getting ready for the overnight pool party when Mark's brother shouted and said "Si Tin-Tin nalunod". I was 6 months pregnant  and on a 2 inches heals and I didn't care. I run and hoped to see our dear 7 year old cousin, but she was already rushed by the gate and ready to be brought to the Hospital. Mark was able to go with them in the hospital and she was declared "dead on arrival". This incident brought a gap between Tin-Tin 's parents and us. They were blaming us for what happened. I know there's nothing more painful than losing a child, but we never claimed it our fault. She has parents that should be taking good care of her every minute of her life. They are 3 siblings and all of them are included in our entourage. The mom was not ok with his husband's side so she decided not to go. The father was there and they got 2 yayas, so why put the blame on us? All we wanted was for all our guests to enjoy that's why we chose to have a pool party. If they didn't want to, they can opt not to bring their kids to the pool, but they were already swimming just before the reception ended. It was so hard to accept that the supposed to be happiest day in our lives became the most tragic day.

Please also read our First Year of Being Married and see how God worked on the 1st 365 days or our lives as a married couple.

 

This should come 1st before the First Year of Being Married. I know it's too late, but I don't care. I wanna complete the Couple's Corner Meme. I just love it! Come and join us too. I tell you, it's so much fun.

The first thing that came to my mind upon reading the topic was, "Was there really a Marriage Proposal?" Geez!!! I can't remember! LOL.. We've been living together for about a year already and I know being pregnant is 100% possible, but we didn't know it will come that early. I was only 2nd year college and just celebrated my 19th birthday. I knew I was pregnant because of the morning sickness I was experiencing and all I need then was a confirmation. It was Christmas break so I went home in our province and there's no way I can have a test there. I still waited for school to resume for me and Mark to check it. Funny thing was, we both don't know how to use the pregnancy tester and so we almost damage it. Still the sign was positive, and we were just indenial about it because we thought we broke the tool. Then another test with a friend a few days after and still, it was positive.

Forgive me when I say that I thought of the most stupid thing to do that time. And THAT I am regretting every time I look at my daughter and I tell myself, "Where could this baby be if I did it?" and I know I will regret forever. My good gradeschool friend was the one who convinced me that everything will be ok in the end and that it's hard only at the beginning. Thank God I listened. I even researched about the different ways on how to do it, and it only led me to all the negative outcomes which made me decide to better face the problem and accept all the consequences. I believe, that's the bravest and wisest decision I have ever made in my life, so far.

It was never easy, knowing that I will disappoint everyone who's looking up to me. I am the eldest cousin who's considered as the eldest sister of all and everyone wants to be like me. I've got everything I wanted in my life, all the love anyone could ever ask for. And only for me to ruin it. I have a choice. I can pretend that everything's normal, but I chose to accept my faults and face the world.

I never forced Mark to marry me, and I also told myself that marriage is not what I want. I know Mark will never leave me, may we be married or not. But when I told my family about it, they explained things to me in a way that I will still be the one to decide. They told me that it is always better to have a whole and complete family. I don't have that, do I want it to happen to my baby as well? Then I thought about it. I told Mark that I want us to get married. He just started his job and was just starting his life. He didn't agree the first time. Then I said, I will never beg for him to marry me. But being turned down was painful. I got hurt, I admit. So I said it's alright, but he will never have the right to us. We will live alone and he can go on with his life. I told my tita what I decided on and she respected it. Until...

My one brave man arrived in my Tita's office and explained his side. He said he loves me and he wanted to give me a nice and decent wedding, but he can't do that yet because he just started working. My tita called me up and asked me to come to the office and didn't tell me Mark was there. I never had the chance to introduce him personally to my family because they don't want to. The EX was the only guy my family wants for me then. It was a brave move for my dear BF to face my Tita whom he knows never liked him.

Then, there... He said we are getting married. How? He don't know. LOL... I guess that's the proposal. There might not have an engagement ring, but I think that counts as the "Marriage Proposal" for us.

I thought having a happy and complete family was already impossible to achieve. Please continue and witness The Day We Said "I DO".

 

OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!! talaga... I missed a lot!!! But I'll make habol.. Please wait for my posts bout the previous topics on Couple's Corner and I am telling you, whether you like it or not, I'll do the previous topics! LOL

Alright, I will concentrate first on this week's topic and it's all about our first year as a married couple.

Being with hubby 24/7 was no longer a FIRST since we've been living together for about a year already. However, it's somehow different when we are already earning and working for ourselves. When we were only living-in, everything was provided by our parents. Good thing, hubby was already working then and I stopped schooling to give birth and to personally take good care of our baby. Until now, I can't believe we passed that stage of our life where hubby only earns P10k, with our house rent that costs P5.5k, with a lovely baby to support and still managing to live a normal and happy life. Well, GOD IS GOOD! Want to know how we did it? Alright, it's like this...

1. I fully breastfed Alyssa for 10 months. We tried to give her formula milk, but she refused until I totally stopped breasfeeding her as I have to go back to school.
   
2. Pork, beef and fish are being transported from Masbate to Manila almost every month by my super kind mom-in-law, PLUS Alyssa's diapers and biscuits (Nissin Wafer and Marie).
3. My lola gives us rice every time we go to Laguna.
4. My aunts give us cooked foods every time they know I want them and also lots of Pampanga's Best products for our breakfast.
5. We live just a few steps away from hubby's siblings and from time-to-time, we get cooked meals as well.

WWWEEEEWWWW!!! That was how our first year was. Lots of blessings and gifts from our families. Indeed, we were sooo lucky to have them! =)

But, it was not always happy moments together. That was the year where we had the most LQ (Lover's Quarrel) only for me to realize after that it was all my fault. Goodness!!! I was so paranoid then that hubby might be looking to other girls because he's been surrounded by ladies who were with the same status as his - graduate, working, CPA... while me, at home and useless. That was some kind of self pity and maybe post-partum depression as well. I always throw tantrums and he never gave up on me.  He was always there explaining things and making everything clear and that happened so many times.

Then, when we had a serious talk a year after, we were able to clear things out and yeah, nothing's right among all my thoughts and suspicions. LOL! He was never been attracted to any other woman (he sworn).. =)

It was an exciting 1st year. It really was. My aunt (Tita Arlene) played a great role in that year. If not for her advices, maybe I already gave up and stepped out of our relationship. And only to kill myself after realizing that everything was only made by my suspicious mind. ;=)

Please do come and join us too. We would love to know your love stories as well. Just click on the pic on this post and join the fun!